Journal 43

I think that would be a pretty terrible idea. I don't think people should ever ever be tested on their mental sanity unless they consent or they have behaved completely out of line. I don't understand how that would even work. Who decides who is sane and who isn't? We're all just beings. We all have different chemical levels in our brains. Just because a majority of us conform to social norms does not mean that the ones who don't are insane. This is something that really hit s home for me because I tend to get a lot of crap for being different. I'm already considered to be relatively insane in the opinion of a few doctors, so if I was compared to the rest of the country, my stats would probable be off the charts and I wouldn't even care. I would just want them to not put me away until I got done with this year. That's an option for me. It has been discussed. Apparently if I don't get better by June 10th or so, I have to go somewhere or something like that. I don't even know or care, I just want to do good in school. I really do want to succeed in this life. I want to accomplish my goals. I really do, so if I need to go somewhere for more serious help, then I will. I just want to get done with my junior year so that I don't have to make anything up later. I really need to just finish all of this stuff up. I can't wait until this is over. I really feel like I am making my life a real thing now. Like reality is setting in. I'm soon going to be on my own. I will be able to make every decision in my life. I just cannot believe that this is all happening. I can't wait to live my actual life.