Journal 31

I can see how the topic of gossip comes about during a unit discussing "Spoon River Anthology", but I cannot say that it relates to my life very greatly. Well, really, I WISH I couldn't say that. It becomes difficult to ignore after a certain point. It is say that I have become so accustomed to it that I hardly stress over it anymore, but it is true. I suppose that could be considered a good thing, that it does not effect me as much. But in reality, it should never have been there to grow used to. I know it sounds cliche, but I wish we could all just get along. I wish that if you didn't like the way someone lived their life, you could just move along and forget them. But for some reason that is an impossible concept for us to grasp.
Gossip is something that used to make me want to never leave my bed. I would beg my parents to let me stay home from school nearly every day. I believe that during my 7th grade year, I accumulated around 25 absent days. The school never cared because they knew I was a new student. That was another difficult thing for me. It is hard to fly under the radar when you are always the "new girl". You are automatically the new topic of discussion until everyone decides your place in the social scene for you. You have no say. You get your first few impressions and then your future is basically told to you. Its a sad thing, really. And is it not obvious that people were bound to make up rumors and gossip about me? When everybody talks, something is bound to be untrue.
So I guess now I'm just so used to it that it doesn't bother me. I wish it never had to come to this point, but it did. And now, I'm fine with where I am.